why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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