Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
