Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
