I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I could make wine with my vomit
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
