wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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