you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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