i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
