i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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