I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
