I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i was born a porn star she said
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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