Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
