is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
