I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
