D3 body, D1 cock
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
