I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
