it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
