Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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