I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
