I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
