dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
