We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
