No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sext me about skeletons
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
