I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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