If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
