With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Ladies don't puke and tell
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize