either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
40s are totally the cure
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
