I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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