strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
