Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
