so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Welp...herpes.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
