i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Can you bring me the toilet please
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
