i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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