I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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