i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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