I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
