dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
