Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
