And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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