girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
