I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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