His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Who died my cat blue again?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize