I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
