that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
