ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Randomize
