quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
