i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
