i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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