Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
