didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize