Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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