ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
