yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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