Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
