I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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