I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
