I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
