what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
