how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
