I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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