He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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