Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
