you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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