we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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