i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
