bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
