Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
