I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize